Elizabeth M. Johnson

“What beliefs guide your life?”

I asked the above question, among others, in the online survey I conducted this spring. I received thoughtful, poignant answers (”trust your instincts”; “strong body and healthy mind go hand-in-hand”; “go big or go home”) which were hugely affirming to me because they do echo some of my own beliefs. I used these responses, and others, as I honed in more closely on my new niche. This cool morning, however, it seemed like an appropriately fresh time, kind of like my own first day of school, to offer out some of my own beliefs.

I believe that a poor body image is one of the major reasons women settle, accept less than what they deserve. I have seen this with my individual clients as well as with women in my workshops. This mindset is a sister belief to the “someday” phrases that pervade some of our speech e.g. “someday I will move to North Carolina.” Thinness is associated with virtue and goodness. Anything less than thin has a distinct scent of unworthiness, unattractiveness, laziness and often stupidity. This is true more for women than it is for men. For men, thinness isn’t a prerequisite for societal success like it is for women. Being overweight has clearly negative societal connotations that no one in this position could ever fail to be less than miserably conscious of all times. Knowing this established truth, is it any wonder that the woman without the ideal body (most of us, yes?) is more inclined to settle in her life? How could she believe that she really deserves more when society barrages her with multiple messages of her inadequacy?

The answer to this is a re-working of how we think of ourselves and our bodies. While there have been some successes against the unrealistic societal expectations of beauty that is thrust upon each of us everyday (think the Evolution film by Dove) individually, we are not going to win a war waged against the media. Enter InsideOut Courage! I want women to re-imagine their bodies, whatever form they happen to be in, as beautiful. I believe that when you feel beautiful, you can do anything. The truth is that when you feel less than beautiful, you hold back. You tuck in. You shut up. You wonder if the last one was your last chance. You question whether or not you really deserve happiness. You allow yourself to be talked in situation that really does suck, it isn’t just your imagination. When you feel less than beautiful, you tend to grin (grimace) and bear it, swallowing continual injustice. You decide to be “the bigger person” and not challenge the insult.

People unfairly judging others is a pastime that is not going away anytime soon, especially in the clear American winner/loser belief system i.e. some of us are winners, some are losers. But the truth is silence poisons; it is not golden. As individuals and collectively, we need to examine what is not being said and act from that truth. What truths do you see through your window?