Support team and self-esteem
In both Awaken Your Passion and Uncommon Confidence, participants hear the stress that I place on the importance of the right support team. There are varied reasons for this–none of which is an less important than another. A brief piece in the Sunday NYT Magazine, Confidant Crisis, by Ann Hulbert lends further reinforcement about some of my own findings about support team.
Despite the fact that we are more wired in, more connected to others than ever before, Americans have fewer close friends than they did even 20 years ago. This is not surprising given the fact that sheer ability to reach people does not a confidante make. More disturbing however, was the decline in the percentage of us–from 80% to 57% (a considerable drop)–who name a non-family person as part of that inner circle, Hurlbert tells us citing a 2004 General Social Survey. What does it mean? Well, it means that when we do turn to someone to share our inner angst or even special successes, we are turning to a family member instead of a best friend. While this doesn’t sound like regression, it certainly can be. Family members are not usually the best people to turn to champion our Authentic Self. They are too overly invested in our security and too closely tied to us emotionally. If you are turning to family members for support about your decision to sell your house, chances are, they aren’t going to be able to give you this support because they can only see the risk, the lack of a solid base & safety NOT the freedom from a mortgage or the world of possibilities that you imagine.
Hurlbert’s article raises some thought-provoking ideas. How do we define ‘confidante’? What importance are we placing on a support team? Are we authentically connecting with others? The article provides good food for thought for each of us as we consider our own relationships.