Being of Service
I am relatively certain it is the doing of my mother. It seems to never go out of fashion to blame one’s mother, does it? In this case, however, the attribution of responsibility to my mother is a positive one.
While my mother is currently the Middle School Director at The Duke School she was, for most of my childhood, a teacher. I remember going to IDS over the summer –the school where she was teaching when we were growing up–and playing in deserted classrooms and on the incredible dangerous, circa 1975, playground equipment. She worked in her 1st, then 3rd grade classrooms, cutting out children’s names, arranging desks, planning lessons while we ruled the empty school outside her classroom. The kids in her classes always had some sort of community service component to their learning experience with her. They adopted wolves, planned food drives and learned about Greenpeace. This kind of community service element was something that my mother offered as part of her teaching years before it became fashionable for school children to adopt a cause. So, I think it was through this growing awareness of animal testing, endangered species and homeless children, that a passion for giving back bloomed within me. I volunteered for years with a greyhound adoption agency doing everything from choosing track dogs for adoption to cat testing to adoption screening to following up with new families. Anyone who has ever done any animal rescue work knows how consuming it can be and so, after I left Linkage to pursue my own coaching career, I also temporarily gave up my work with greyhounds for something more local. Since 2005, I have volunteered with Women’s Support Services of Sharon, CT- a local domestic violence agency.
I found a quote recently in a new book from Phaidon, Dogs, (available at Hammertown Barn) that I am absolutely loved. It applies to our conversation here about being of service. It went something like this, “There isn’t anything wrong with you if you don’t have a dog but there may be something wrong with your life.” While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with you if you aren’t giving some element of you away to a larger crusade than your own life, you may notice that something is off in your life. The caller to the hotline that you volunteer for or the adoptable dog whose crate you are cleaning don’t judge you if you are overweight or just lost a baby tooth at age 35. The elderly woman that you read to every other Tuesday doesn’t mind if you hate to exercise or struggle with perfectionist tendencies. In other words, we need to be of service as much as those who receive the service need us. It’s essential for the growth of strong self-esteem.
What’s the tool(s) that you’ve own that could be put to a greater cause than your own self-satisfaction? Next, consider what greater-than-you need that tool might be able to address. Now, make the connection and observe the effect on your self-esteem. Thanks Mom!
Addendum 8.20: Watch this video to see the way my sister, Caroline, gives some of herself to a greater cause.