Elizabeth M. Johnson

Doesn’t Kate McCann look guilty?

She never cries in public over the disappearance of her daughter Madeleine earlier this year while the family was on vacation in Portugal. McCann always looks composed, calm, even a little arrogant in pictures. She just looks guilty, doesn’t she?

How is McCann, condemned already by her perceived cool demeanor, somehow the one exclusively to blame for Madeleine’s disappearance even though husband Gerry McCann seems to be a fully functional capable adult as well? Because if the issue is one of a missing child, the focus (read: blame) is on the mom, not the dad. It’s somehow the mom’s fault. Remember Patsy Ramsey? Her “overly emotional” behavior at her daughter’s funeral caused speculation that she was trying a little too hard to show that she was a mother in mourning. No one looked too hard at dad John Ramsey, just as the media don’t seem to be too concerned with Gerry McCann’s emotional composure.

Can you control your facial features all the time? I can’t. Who can truly evaluate whether or not I am cold, unemotional or joyous based on my facial expression? No one can. Women like in the spotlight, focused on 24/7, living with high stress- like McCann- can get a bad rap, undeserved because they look a certain way at a certain time. The implied message is that women must act perfectly in every situation. And, rest assured, the woman in the spotlight is not the one who will be judging what’s perfect and what’s not. She is most definitely eliminated from the conversation. She is the object, not the subject of the dialogue.

The answer isn’t to try to live by someone else’s standard of living, what they think you should be doing but rather, to deliberately choose to buck the system. Take off the mask that society and the media are foisting on you. Acknowledge it for what it is: a naked deception, a duplicitous action of imposed conformity. This is true for men as well. Show us what you’ve got, guys. When anyone-man or woman-allow themselves to be defined by standard’s that are not their own, they lose self-esteem and are thus less able to deal with challenges that come our way.

What mask are you guilty of wearing?

I came to read Atlas Shrugged about four years ago. I had read The Fountainhead before but after Atlas, I was hooked. Dismissively, my mother said that “everyone” goes through an Ayn Rand phase. Do they? Well, four years later, Atlas is the only book on my desk and it remains the only fictional book on my Uncommon Confidence reading list. I re-read Atlas for relaxation and inspiration. Does everyone do this?

Ayn Rand was considered in an article by Harriet Rubin in the September 15 issue of the New York Times Business section which you can amazingly still access. Rand has come to light again with the release of Alan Greenspan’s book, The Age of Turbulence. Greenspan, whom everyone knows most familiarly as former chairman of the FED, was earlier in his life a member of the Collective-Ayn Rand’s inner circle who met weekly to discuss Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism.
The heart of Rubin’s article focuses on the impact that Atlas Shrugged has had on business and business leaders since its publication 50 years ago this year. Themes of excellence, quality work, being a hero within one’s life and taking one’s dreams seriously are concepts that drive my business as well as spill into my teaching.

Looking at the world through Atlas-tinted lenses, one can see just how important they are or can be in the “motor of the world” as John Galt says in Atlas. Through Atlas, Rand helps us see the possibility that exists in our life. She helps us understand that everyone counts and the discovery of one’s true purpose is one of the most critical tasks that we can take on. This philosophy is at the core of my own work with clients.

Starting in October, I have an opening for an individual client. So, if discovering your purpose and pursuing it is something that you’d like to take on, contact me. Don’t worry; I won’t make you read Atlas Shrugged. At least, not the whole thing.

One of my best memories growing up in sitting curled up in a rocking chair (could that have been comfortable?) on our back porch reading in the sun. The porch was located directly below my bedroom and looked out into a sea of huge pine trees. So, I had sun and shade simultaneously depending on the time of day. I owned every Judy Blume book, I think, except maybe a few of the real duds like Super Fudge. But I loved Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself (of course) and the perennial Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.

Clients often ask how I have time to read as much as I do. Part of my explanation is that I see it as part of my job. I am a resource for them so the reading that I am doing might be fodder for a future program, ideas for them, solutions for issues that affect many of us, etc. But the other part of the explanation is that I love to read! Reading has always given me immense pleasure, validation, inspiration and escape. Reading is one of those activities that make me feel good about myself. I tell women in Uncommon Confidence that one of the simple ways that we can become more confident is to engage in activities that make us feel good about ourselves, like reading is for me.

Some people ask others what they do for a living or another equally blah question upon meeting them, I often ask “What are you reading?”. This question gifts me with two things immediately: 1) If they read at all. Some people are more of a movie-goer and that’s okay. We can then discuss the newest movie they saw. But if they are a reader, as I am, we have a larger connection. One that might become the basis for some future support team action –either for recommendations or resources or as a friend on Goodreads. 2) The second thing that I am given is a window into their authentic self. If they don’t read, they usually share the why: too busy; they read when they were a child but not since; they don’t like to read, etc. This is always interesting to me. Is their “why” an excuse or is it a valid desire which isn’t being honored? Other questions help me get there because at this point, I am curious. And, if they do read and they share with me what they have read recently, I come to a place of greater understanding of who they are and what’s important to them.

Choosing a book is kind of like choosing a tea. When people tell me that they don’t like tea, I say that they haven’t found the one that they like yet not that they dislike all tea. It’s a matter of perspective, right? But, by saying you don’t like a whole genre of something, you are unnecessarily narrowing your choices in life. Do you really want less choice? Barry Schwartz might disagree with me here but overall, choice is important. Perhaps not 25 different kinds of jam but eliminating jam entirely is not the answer. When we limit our choices, we limit ourselves. We limit what we are capable of. We limit our chances for feeling successful or satisfied. Obviously we also limit our chance for love. Each if these limitations has a deleterious affect on our self-esteem. Who needs that?

So, are you reading? Or are you stuck and need a new book? Let me know. And, if you are looking for a recommendation, let me know that. Between my questions and your self-knowledge, I guarantee you’ll find something that you’ll like. or consider a visit to your local library, peruse around until you find something that looks interesting (it’s okay to judge a book by it’s cover here!). Next thing you know, you’ll be adding reading War and Peace to your Life List.

I’m back from Nashville. While I was there I met some very friendly people, one not so friendly person (stay away from “8th Avenue Antiques” near the Berry Hill area of the city) and wanted to take the opportunity to mention how affirming it can be to connect with favorites while you are away.

On Thursday, when I visited the Berry Hill area, I stopped in for a coffee at Sam and Zoe’s Cafe and Coffeehouse. Keeping in mind my ban on take-out plastic cups and disposable water bottles, I asked the woman behind the counter for a mug for my iced coffee. She gave me the owner’s mug! Samantha, as I learned later when I was leaving, was the manager of Sam and Zoe’s. She didn’t give me a hard time about my request for a mug and was super-friendly. I asked for their card, bought a fabulous tee shirt and left feeling pretty good.

From there, I ventured over to Venus & Mars Silvery Moon. Pre-trip, I had Googled “vintage clothes Nashville” and came upon owner Amy Patterson’s website. So, Venus Mars Silvery Moon was one of my must-see’s when I got to Nashyville. I was not disappointed. The store is very well-organized with items beautifully displayed. I think vintage and consignment stores sometimes get lazy and just throw the clothes together. This may be a timesaver for the shopkeep but it does not give the consumer any reason to stay and weed through clothes that are jumbled together. Who has time for that? I want to see suits with suits, dresses with dresses and shoes all together in one place. Venus Mars delivers. I walked away with a fabulous pair of fun earrings and two pairs of pants. Amy drew me a map of other places to visit and also allowed me to take a few photos! PS. I visited three other vintage places in Nashville and none came close to Venus Mars for quality, great prices and aesthetics.

Another store I liked was called Social Graces, located on 21st Avenue South. One of my very favorite clients would absolutely love it too. The store is completely charming. Social Graces carries assorted stationary, cards, beautiful office supplies, and a small section of lifestyle accoutrements. They do all sorts of custom printing. Some of the items that they carried didn’t make sense (I love the Ina Garten products as much as the next person but in a card store…?) with the theme but the beauty of the store as well as the appealing assortment of products helped me forgive the random addition of some odd choices. My choices were a pink canvas bag, luggage tags and some beautiful cards.

When you are away from your comfort zone of home, it is immeasurably helpful to incorporate pieces of your favorites into your life, whether it be food, books, companionship, etc. Doing so returns you to your sense of yourself, reminds you of what’s important to you and establishes safety wherever you may find yourself.

What are some of your favorites that always reassure you?

Yesterday morning was my first full day at Scarritt-Bennett Center. RaShonda who is the resident expert in meeting spaces gave me a tour of the meeting spaces that would be available to me. My favorites were the ones in Laskey Hall, on the second floor. Both the Kreitner Room with its gorgeous tin ceiling and natural light and the small but lovely (pictured) Owen Book Room would be perfectly suited to my needs for a Fall retreat group.

After the tour I headed out to the Berry Hill area of Nashville. One of the things that’s important to me in planning my retreat here is that there be plenty of downtown for shopping, napping or snacking. I found some fabulous places online that I wanted to check-out and off I went. The Berry Hill area is about a 10-minute drive from SBC so it’s an easy jaunt for afternoon shopping or dining.

Nashville is surprisingly easy to navigate and this is a high compliment coming from she who gets lost at the drop of a hat when driving in unfamiliar territory. Having negotiated the endless one-way streets of Boston (often going the wrong way) and avoiding driving in Manhattan at all costs, I was thrilled to be able to find my way around Nashville very easily. It helps that the streets are numerical. But it’s also just really easy to turn around if you have missed an exit or a turn-off that you intended to take. Feeling completely comfortable navigating a new city is a huge confidence booster so for those who are wary about driving in a new place because they are directionally-challenged, worry not! If I can figure it out, you definitely can.

My first stop in Berry Hill was The Curious Heart Emporium. It was one of my on-line finds. It is funky, fun and an experience that you won’t duplicate anytime soon, anywhere. It reminded me a lot of Hammertown Barn—lots of stuff so you don’t know where to look but also of one of my favorite stores in Cambridge although they never got back to me about carrying Confident Women Coaching Cards, Black Ink. The theme is fun. I walked away with a very reassuring “1.20.09” sticker for my car (Bush’s last day in office); a pumpkin flashlight which offers 10 different scary sounds; several beautiful greeting cards; a whoo-ing ghost key chain with flashing eyes and suggestions for lunch, coffee and a brochure of the Berry Hill area from Becky, the sweet fabulously helpful associate from Curious Emporium. She even took my picture at my request…twice! What a gem.

Traveling alone (my sisters hadn’t arrived yet) offers many opportunities and lessons about self-esteem building. Taking even a day trip, if you cannot take more time off, is one of my suggestions to clients who are stuck or in the midst of working through a challenge. Traveling also provides great perspective on whatever it is you are currently dealing with. Over the past day, I have been reminded of some of the essentials: the beauty of support team –even if they are temporary folks like Becky at The Curious Heart Emporium or Amy at Venus & Mars Silvery Moon (more about that experience later); putting your needs first whether it means doing what you want before the arrival of others which prompts a need for compromise or making your request to the others clear so it gets squeezed in; saying “no” to what you don’t want or need or which won’t work for you (dimensions for too large meeting rooms; trekking back to Berry Hill after the airport after having been there twice).

More self-esteem building through travel observations tomorrow! In the meantime, ask yourself: How can I plan a day long get-away by myself? Include ideas for where, when and what is on your agenda.

I was beginning to doubt it. Picture it: me at the Avis counter at Nashville International Airport yesterday around lunchtime, my lunch time, not Nashville lunch. I was hungry, feeling a little overheated in the uncommonly warm air and was about ready to throw in the towel when I am suddenly taken off hold and Heather, who has placed me on hold at my demand to speak with her supervisor, comes back on the line. I had been looking at the seductive red, yellow and blue logo of Dollar Rent-A-Car and my next action, should Heather keep me hanging for about another minute too long, would have been to thank Linda at the counter who had tried to be helpful and march on over to Dollar. At that point, I would have taken a Yugo from Dollar if it had been available, risking the eminent laughter that would surely flow from my sisters who were to arrive the next day.

But Heather came back! She greeted me somewhat more cheerily than she had earlier when I informed her that a $40 gift certificate toward a future rental was not going to cut it in terms of making this customer happy. If there was nothing she could do, I needed to speak to her supervisor. She told me she wasn’t sure if one was available but one could call me back. Where? At the rental counter? No way was I waiting around for that. I told her that I needed to speak to someone immediately. She frostily thanked me, cutting off my thanks by placing me on hold.

Essential back story: Just one week before, I had been promised by Monica in sales in the national office –calling to confirm my reservation and that I had been given double miles and a 25% discount by booking through a Delta link located at the end of my e-ticket –that my discount (approximately $40) would be taken at the counter when I picked up the car. Linda, of course, who is at the counter, knew nothing of this. Nor, as it happens did Heather who was in sales in the national office. Who/where was Monica?

When Heather finally took me off hold, she told me that while she didn’t have a supervisor to talk to me, she had been given permission to give me $10 off my rental per day (which was a four day rental) and this in essence, would save me the $40 I had been promised. This worked. I thanked her. Happy again, I waited until Linda filled out the new paperwork.

What’s the lesson? Hang in there and ask for what you want. If it cannot or (more likely) will not be responded to with a gesture that satisfies you, go elsewhere. I was perfectly prepared to head over to Dollar and write a scathing commentary on Avis in this blog, should they decide that, yes, I was okay to screw. But that didn’t happen and I’m glad. The other lesson? You have choice. We don’t live in a country where Avis has the monopoly on rental cars. I could have gone elsewhere. I could also have accepted less fair treatment than I had been promised. That wasn’t going to happen because I know that my confidence would have been lowered, that my authentic self would have suffered because of that and that my day, sadly, would have been soured. You have choice all over the place.

Where are you compromising and how does that compromise make you feel?

Oh, by the way precious reader, if this situation happens to you often and you always feel at a loss, disappointed or overwhelmed by “should have, would have, could have”. You are in luck. I have an opening for an individual client starting in October. Contact me for more details. Don’t accept less than what you deserve.

Women’s eNews is extending an invitation to nominate someone you know personally or professionally who has made a difference in the lives of women.

Women’s eNews would like nominations of persons of all ages, heritages, countries and professions who have made a positive impact on the lives of women. These leaders will be honored at the annual Women’s eNews 21 Leaders for the 21st Century Gala to be held on May 21, 2008. All of their past newsworthy Leaders are listed on their website. You can read more about each of them there.

Your nomination should include:
*The nominee’s name, organization, title, e-mail address, phone number, fax number and postal address (cell too, if you have it.)

*Your name, relationship to the nominee, your e-mail address, phone number, fax number and postal address (also cell, if you have one.)

*A summary–of 200 words or less–of how this Leader has made a lasting impact on behalf of women.

Please send your nominations to 21leaders@womensenews.org by midnight on October 10, 2007.

On Wednesday morning, I leave for Nashville. My plan is to visit the city, accompanied by my two sisters, so that I can determine whether or not I want to host a retreat there next Fall. So, my current Uncommon Confidence class will be off this week since we meet Wednesday nights. What I am hearing from them are signs of progress, however, as we approach Week #7. Women who didn’t talk in class are talking more, opening up to share more about what they are noticing and what’s stopping them. Something else that is going on is that they are less afraid of “breaking the rules”. That may mean re-working a term or concept I introduce, leaving early, or opening disagreeing with another woman in the group. That’s what I call progress!

Real change happens within us when you take the information given to you (or the information that you have always had) and don’t just accept it at face value, unquestioning as a lemming (note picture to the left and imagine a lemming at the cusp of the cliff). How it “is” or how it seems to be isn’t necessarily what it seems to be or what it will always be. So, I ask you to have a little faith. There is a system that works -mine!- but first you have to place a little faith in it. And so, there is a fine line between having faith and having the audacity to question. Part of my role is to help you negotiate and strengthen that line. Empower you to question while also expanding your faith.

Uncommon Confidence ends October 3. Awaken Your Passion starts on the following Thursday, October 11 in Sharon, CT. at the Women’s Support Services Office. If you’d like help and inspiration in negotiating that line, maybe you will join us. Also, starting in October, I have one opening for an individual client. To see if we might be a match in working together, contact me and we’ll spend some time hearing your goals, obstacles and what’s in between. We’ll also explore if my high expectations, unbridled support and wealth of ideas, resources and observations might be what you need.

Where in your life are you acting like a lemming?

Anita Roddick, founder of The Body Shop, died Monday night. Roddick started the Body Shop in 1976 in Brighton, England with little more than hope and a desire to answer a need she saw. At the end of her life, The Body Shop had grown to over 1900 stores across 12 time zones in 50 different markets. Roddick proved without doubt that one could combine a) ethical business practices (accepting old bottles of product and re-filling them at shops; not testing beauty care products on animals are two examples) with 2) personal values (peace-loving, anti-war, fair trade) and 3) a passion for an idea to build a successful, sustainable business. She revolutionized how consumers think of the products that they buy–both where they come from but also by whom they are made, by what means the ingredients are acquired, and who or what is harmed by their production. Roddick was unafraid to associate her company with controversial ads which quoted Ghandi; shone a public light on women’s issues such as domestic violence and sexism; promoted hemp and enhanced the male body at a time when advertising tended to focus on women’s bodies exclusively. She was a pioneer in giving voice to those who had previously been ignored (in large part the female consumer) and by modeling how using one’s own voice can affect positive change. She will be greatly missed.

Ok, I promised you yesterday for a list of the positive aspects of owning your own business since I saddled you with three big heavy must-know’s yesterday. Before I go there, let me ask you a question. Do you remember, when as a child, you pretended that you were a busy business person? Maybe you played with your siblings as I did and each of you imagined that you owned a store or a business? If you do, you may recall the feeling of freedom that you had. Maybe you also remember feeling successful…even if the currency you exchanged was only Monopoly money. Well, while these feelings aren’t present all the time as a business owner, they are present more than if you work for someone else. With that sweet memory in mind, here are three uppers to consider about owning your own business:

1) You are the boss. While you are also the team, you are simultaneously the boss. This means that you get to decide literally everything. This can be overwhelming but it can also be extremely empowering. You can decide when you get to launch a new product, where you want to host a retreat, how you want to respond to demands for more of one service or less of another. You set the prices of your offerings. You set hours for your business that work for you. You can opt to work from home or from an office. You are accountable to no one…except your customer of course. In both of my workshops, I help participants realize that they are the hero of their life, the architect of its creation. This idea holds beautifully true in your business as well, when you are the owner.

2) You are an influencer. You have the ability as a business owner to influence the public’s perception of what you do and/or what is important to you. Yes, you can be an influencer as a passive consumer but you have a greater ability to impact the public through your business. Because as a business owner, you are not merely consuming, but using consumption to extend your area of expertise into something bigger and educate from that place. Your business can be your platform for creating change in the world, in whatever specific area you choose. So, if your business is branding but you care deeply about adult literacy, you can use your business as a platform to educate others about this cause by hosting a fundraiser, traveling to a conference, whatever. In doing so, you attract greater attention to that cause.

3) Your authenticity is rewarded. Authentic is attractive. One of the biggest compliments that I hear when someone visits Hammertown for the first time is “That’s different,” or “How different,” in a tone of pleased satisfaction. Being authentic is being different. When you are authentic, people respond right away. When you are the same as everyone else, you blend in, like beige wall-to-wall carpet. Neither pleasing nor offensive. You don’t really merit a response. In business, as in life, authentic is good. Authentic is memorable, remarkable as Seth Godin discusses in Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable. When your authenticity is the engine behind your business, you are consciously attracting customers who you want to work with. To hell with the others, when you are being authentic in your business, you won’t need everyone else. Your authenticity will feed you, in your business as it does in life outside of work. Shelly Lazarus, Chairman and CEO of Ogilby-Mather Worldwide says in the 9/17 issue of Fortune, “Don’t underestimate the value people place on authenticity.”

So, that’s Part II. Obviously I believe the positives of owning your own business outweigh the negatives but you might not. Or you might be more comfortable having your boss make all the decisions or allowing the company to set your work schedule. That’s okay. Just be aware who is driving the car along your journey. Is it fear or is it your authentic self?

I was talking with my grandmother over dinner last night about how difficult it can be to leave the comfort of their steady paycheck and the reliability of repeat clients to open up their own business. What to do? Owning your own business sounds so attractive and yet…
So, I compiled a short list of caveats to consider when considering owning your own business:

1) You are your own team. With a new business, even if you are “just” transferring what you already do for someone else to doing it exclusively for yourself, you are entering scary territory. It is you who has to deal with: the management of your office; the marketing and PR of your business; the hiring and firing of help; packing, shipping and tracking of product; banking, accounting and invoicing of services; the logistics of any and all travel involved in your work, etc. And there is so much more. However, the idea is not to do all of the work by yourself long-term but to build a team who will help you to what you do best and not the nitty gritty which likely isn’t your creative strong point.

2) You are going to get screwed occasionally. It’s the nature of being a new business. You kind of just need to roll with it and chalk it up to a learning experience. The people who screw you aren’t going to set out to sabotage your business but their delays, inaccuracies, or lack of communication will affect your business and thus, your bottom line. Sometimes the fault will be, at least in part, your own. You didn’t ask the “right” questions or demand the proof be a hard copy as opposed to a graphic emailed to you (even if that seemed obvious at the time). But often times you will find, as I have, that people simply don’t have as high a standard of quality or consistency as you do and because of that, you will suffer.

3) You will not always be paid on time. Or, for that matter, the amount that you actually invoiced the person or business for! This is a hard one because, if you are like me, you still believe that you need to pay people who do work for you on time. So when you aren’t paid on time, you’re caught in a tough spot. Sometimes you are given a tired song and dance from the company you are invoicing about them having been in business a long time, etc. etc. etc. In short, if you want to do business with them, you will alter your terms. Sometimes checks are forgotten, lost in the mail or misplaced. Here again, you need to roll with it. This can be hard to do when you are finally ready to give the printer the thumbs-up for your new product.

Have I totally scared you? Tomorrow, I will offer Part II to this which will outline some of the benefits to owning your own business. That should help put a little balance in your thinking. Tune in then.

I asked my Coaching Circle participants on Tuesday night to think about when was the last time they felt life was good - in respect to their change statements. I blogged a little about change statements here. They had about seven minutes to think about the question. Then, they wrote down and shared their answers. The responses had surprising commonalities. Each answer clearly identified a place (where they were when they felt life was good) and within each place were elements of beauty and calm. For this group, life is good when they have time to breathe and revel in their surroundings. In their case, they were at home, not at work.

My “life is good” moments come often when I am alone, usually in a work mode. My “life is good” moments come to me when I am suddenly struck by inspiration, for me or for a client. Sometimes they come to me with the completion of a project, like my Chocolate for the Soul ebook which just launched on Tuesday. They often come to me at the close of a program, when I am hearing feedback from participants. The sweetest “life is good” moments for each of us are the ones that resonate the strongest with our authentic selves, as the Coaching Circle participants’ moments illustrated. Creativity and generosity are the root words of two of my five values so it isn’t any surprise that these elements are often in my “life is good” moments.

The key, then, would be to have more of these “life is good” moments in our lives, if not in our every day in some way. If your workplace, where you spend at least 30% of your time (this is a rather conservative estimate which doesn’t include the amount of time you think about work or check in when you are not at work), is not a place where your authentic self can grow and thrive, you are limiting your opportunity for “life is good” moments. And, if you consider you spent 30% of your time each week asleep, you really only have 40% to your life available to you for these moments of bliss. That’s not a lot of time. Imagine (this might help put this number in perspective) if you only had 40% control over your body or over your finances or whether your car started in the morning. Yikes.

What shift do you need to make so you can feel more that life is good?

Newsweek features a weekly essay called My Turn for which readers can submit essays about their life for publication. My subscription to Newsweek came about as a result of some sort of SkyMiles promotion so I can’t say that I am an intentional fan or reader. But I do love the My Turn column. Personal essays, unsolicited, are always so rich with life lessons that stay with me long after the magazine has been recycled. Loraine Barr’s essay is one of those.

It took Barr a while to get up the courage to put her essay in the mail. Actually, it took most of her whole life. Barr wrote her essay on finally coming out of the closet at age 88. Her partner of 44 years died and she finally decided that it was time. Family and friends said that they suspected all along but what has been really amazing to Barr is the support that has poured in from the outside world after her essay appeared in Newsweek.

No matter our age, we consider what other people will think before we act. What will people think if we leave our “good” job for something part-time at Barnes and Noble as we explore what we really want? So, Barr is no exception. But the more important lesson is that she decided to act in spite of what people might think. We could all stand to do this more. When we consider what everyone else thinks before we act, we are diminishing the knowledge that we have of what is best for us. We place more emphasis on what someone else thinks than what we know about ourselves. From an outside perspective, a job may appear like a good one but we alone know what is really going on within the confines of our time at work and so we are the authority on whether or not it is truly a “good” job. When we choose to heed the words of other about our life, giving them more weight or wisdom than our own experience, we shrink authentic self and become less confident about everyday decisions.

Where are you making someone else’s opinion more important than what you know to be true?