Next Tuesday evening September 5 Katie Couric will take over the anchor chair from veteran Bob Schieffer at CBS Evening News. This long-awaited move will herald another ‘first’ for women everywhere–the first time the evening news is anchored solely by a woman. 
The evening news anchor position is one of the most prestigious and powerful positions in television journalism. Viewers all over the country will finally have the opportunity to see a woman in a position of power commenting on the news of the day and asking tough questions.
Admitting early on that it was difficult to get herself out of her ‘comfort zone’ to take on this new challenge, Couric nonetheless knew that this move (leaving Today) made perfect sense for her Authentic Self. In taking this risk, Couric builds essential self-esteem. Taking action (taking a risk) builds self-esteem because the fear of the unknown barrier begins to break down.
Couric is a great role model for many women because she shows women that we can put ourselves first without the world crashing down. Women need to give themselves permission to take that risk for Authentic Self fulfillment. Couric does this with the just the right amount of panache and confidence. Dear reader, ask yourself ‘What’s my next move?’ and consider the risk that you need to take. Look to Katie Couric starting next Tuesday for a little inspiration of your own.
Why is it necessary to spoil an otherwise great cover of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) with a demeaning SAT-style poll (Love Her; Hate Her. Check one) as Time magazine does in its 8/28 issue? While glad for a such a timely article (yes, 2008 is not far away at all {thankfully}) that points out that all of Senator Clinton’s many skills and talents; her clear criticism of the Bush Presidency and the fact that 53% of Americans surveyed have a favorable impression of Senator Clinton, the cover is unnecessarily divisive. Many of us already love her or hate her so posing such a ’survey’ is ridiculous. Instead of qualifying the lovers and haters among us, why not celebrate the qualities that Senator Clinton’s posesses that can be admired by many of us? 
Her simple candor, her willingness to fight for issues that others won’t touch, her sense of humor and her sharp intelligence about a number of issues. More simply put, her self-esteem is balanced between a number of different baskets which makes her a strong role model for many women. The bottom line is whether you like Senator Clinton (as I do) or not, she is capable, intelligent and savvy. Let’s push ourselves to be more inclusive of others than divisive and not buy into cheap negativity designed to sell more magazines.
Michael Noer’s 8/22 essay in Forbes on why men shouldn’t marry career women has hit a nerve with just about every woman, and more than a few men, I know. I liked the response of the ‘guy on the street’ who when asked his opinion about Noer’s article said that he would love to marry a career woman so he coulde stop work and be a stay-at-home Mr. Mom. Of course, he would. This, is the secret wish of many men, as I continue to overhear, learn and read. Regardless, Noer’s sexist, 50’s style outlook of women today is pretty scary. I am guessing that he isn’t married. And, now, likely he may not ever unless he finds a Stepford wife 
whom he can control.
Studies have shown that women who work outside the home (or from a home office) are happier & healthier and as a result their families are happier than if those same women didn’t. Additionally, as we know, healthy balance is essential for everyone so having all of our eggs in the ‘marriage’ basket as opposed to multiple baskets (marriage, career, community, relationships, family, spiritual, etc.) is the way to sustain healthy high self-esteem. It would behoove brainless dopes like Noer to spend some time with a female married friend or sister to really examine the life that he is condemning. Perhaps he might learn a few lessons that he hadn’t before…humility and gratitude come to mind.
How confident are you in saying ‘no’ to something or someone? Are you able to voice your wants and needs effectively without sounding angry or aggressive? Would you like to strengthen your support team and meet new women? Do you wish that your life were more balanced and satisfying?
If so, look no further than Uncommon Confidence! Uncommon Confidence is the six-week workshop exclusively for women dedicated to self-esteem building. This workshop is led by me, self-esteem expert and Confidence Coach. 
Give yourself the chance to really be satisfied.
Uncommon Confidence starts October 5 at Hammertown Rhinebeck and runs for six weeks. Participants must register in advance by contacting Elizabeth at 860 481 1804 or via email at info@ejohnsonandcompany.com. The cost for the entire six-week (18 total hours) program is $250; $225 if registering before September 8. More details are available at my website.
My new favorite magazine, Pink, (of course) offers a terrific article on the financial, personal and professional benefits to women pursuing an MBA. The women profiled in the article share the confidence and clarity that they have gained post MBA. 
They are also making more money, have increased visibility within their company and become promoted more readily. With women accounting for only 15.7% of all corporate officers at the 500 biggest companies, MBAs are thought to be a super tool to help women get access to more senior level position. So, with programs like Simmons College School of Management’s part-time, 2-year MBA program designed for women, MBA program are more female friendly than they traditionally have been in the past. With any kind of continual learning, whether a traditional MBA or part-time continuing ed classes, women’s self-esteem increases when they stretch their mind beyond their usual daily routine. Self-esteem builds because we are taking action by taking a risk to be more, learn more, do different.
The July/August issue of Women’s Health features a terrific article on the realties of Title IX and the status of women’s sports today. Scattered throughout the article are constant references to the positive impact that playing a sport had in a woman’s life. Entrepreneur and 
supermodel, Emme, talks about the positive affect that playing a sport in college had on her self-esteem. She worries that her daughter won’t have the same opportunities. She’s right to be concerned. The Department of Education headed by Margaret Spellings issued a ‘policy guidance’ in mid-March allowing schools giving schools a way to deny Title IX priviledges to students. Women who play collegiate sports report higher self-esteem, fewer problems with drugs or alcohol, and are less likely to smoke or get pregnant, according to the Ms. Foundation. The WH article shines a relevant light on a much needed program.
Lisa Belkin knows how to add just the right ingredients to whatever pot she is brewing. Her piece on Meredith Vieira in Sunday’s NYT magazine offers sufficient kudos while mixing in a good amount of commentary that leaves the reader feeling unsure as to whether to applaud Vieira’s savvy insight or to admonish her for her obvious blindspots.
The crux of my mixed feelings came to an ignorable crescendo 
when Vieira admits that she needs “as much chaos as possible…I mean, why do I make things as chaotic as I can? I’ve never been to therapy because I’m afraid that…I would learn all sorts of things that I would really prefer to not know.” Boy, was I wishing that she hadn’t said that. In making the statement about not wanting to take a good look at the reasons behind her actions, Vieira reveals her own indecision about her life and thus, about this next step for her. Confident women know why they take the steps that they do; why they commit to projects or jobs. Confident women are unafraid to listen deep within themselves to what the Authentic Self decision is to be made. If Vieira isn’t willing to look inside herself to learn things that she would prefer not to know, she is living accidentally, not with intention, hoping that things work out instead of knowing that they will. Regardless of whether the comment was made in jest (as some might contend) or not, the truth of her own comfort level with her life is cracked open. Confident women live with intention, not by accident. We can never build self-esteem and thus a confident attitude if we are unwilling to look at who we really are, at our Authentic Self.
Belkin tells the reader that Vieira wonders if she has sold out and Belkin asks us to question if maybe she has not sold out, if maybe she has ‘won’. If ‘winning’ means ignoring the Authentic Self and pushing ahead steamroller fashion amidst great chaos, then yes, I would say that Vieira has won. But if ‘winning’ means feeling confident about our decisions because we know the reasons why our choices will bring us happiness and success, because we have taken the time to listen to our authentic self, then the answer is a resounding ‘no’. Not only has Vieira not ‘won’, but she has sold out…sold out herself.
In a study conducted by the National Insitute on Aging, married couples received a CT scan of their coronary arteries before and after a hot topic (sex, money, work) discussion in their relationship. 
The CT scans of the wives post-discussion showed a small build-up of arterial plaque which is one of the indicators of heart disease. Heart disease is the #1 killer of American women–killing six times more women than breast cancer. While a woman cannot control her genetic disposition toward a certain cancer, she can control the other factors that can lead to that cancer. Other contributing factors such as chronic stress (such as continual fighting with a partner), depression, anxiety and a lack of strong support system can all lead to heart disease. Each of these factors are discussed in my workshop, Uncommon Confidence as a way to acknowledge the link between Authentic Self actions and high self-esteem. One of the strongest choices that women can make for excellent health is to acknowledge the emotions that they are feeling. Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz tells readers in both of her amazing books, The New Feminine Brain and Awakening Intuition, that the emotions that we feel don’t go away, if unacknowledged, they sink into the body becoming contributing factors to a plethora of disorder and disease. This fact is true for men and women. Be aware and be pro-active about your own health. It’s your life.
Citizens for Community Values-a Memphis, TN based organization- which grounds itself in a Christian identity started a program in 1992 called A Way Out which assists sex workers in the transition from abusive pimps and constant humiliation to a healthy lifestyle which promotes mental, physical and emotional fitness. Marketplace’s Sean Cole interviewed George Kuykendall and Carol Wiley of Citizens for Community Values on last night’s show. Cole travelled to Memphis and met with Kuykendall and Wiley to see for himself how their organization was helping to change the lives of the sex workers there.
Listening to this show was difficult. Hearing how one woman’s child was taken from her if she didn’t make $1K a/day (that’s $30K per month; $360K per year) is a hard fact to swallow because of the helplessness that the listener might feel and/or because of the alien nature of some a lifestyle to many of us. But the fact is that these women are not very different from us at all. What situations in your own life are owning you? Chronic pain from MS; constant care for an aging parent; unpredictable physical or emotional assaults from an abusive husband; binge drinking after work? When we allow the circumstances that we find ourselves in to control our life, an exit can be hard to imagine but there is always one out there. Groups like Citizens for Community Values are showing chronically underserved women like those in the sex industry that there is a way out by providing mentoring, job assistance, counseling and more. Learn how you can make a difference by visiting CCV’s website.
Sunday’s NYT featured a terrific article on women in Wall Street in the SundayBusiness section. The article explored whether or not Wall Street would ever be able to accomodate women who seek balance in their life. 
More and more women are deciding that they want more in their life than the traditional, high-paying career with plenty of opportunity for advancement. Gen Y women, especially, are not willing to give up the idea of balance for more money, Universum says. Gen Y’ers value balance, social responsibility, and personal values more than the insane, workaholic attitude that had embodied Babyboomer women who used to populate Wall Street. But as those boomers retire or change careers, a void is left which banks are starting to pay attention to.
The effort for balance is beginning to be rewarded. Banks like Lehman Brothers, UBS and Goldman Sachs are making efforts to retain and recruit women while being mindful of the balance-oriented choices (telecommuting, on-ramping, etc.) that top women are seeking. The result is yet to be really discerned. As long as talented women demand careers that honor all parts of their Authentic Self (the driven financially minded trader as well as the mom who needs to be home with sick child as well as the wife who wants to travel on husband’s biz trip), then corporate America will have to listen. The business world simply cannot afford to reject the scores of women who want more.
Cheryl Richardson’s weekly e-newsletter is a great way to maintain your Authentic Self. With topics such as friendships, clutter, tolerance, control and more, Cheryl reaches people in a way that’s simple, friendly and accessible. Sunday’s issue of her newsletter is absolutely one of the best in dealing with an issue that comes up often in my blog and also in Uncommon Confidence: the correlation between our image of ourself and our level of self-esteem. It’s a must-read. Cheryl advocates getting rid of too small clothes and asking yourself simple questions like ‘Does this outfit represent who I am in my life?’. This is great stuff. Holding onto anything (projects, relationships, clothes, furniture, whatever) that doesn’t represent
your Authentic Self now inhibits self-esteem growth because you are stifling your Authentic Self. Ask yourself what are you keeping which doesn’t represent who you are right now. And, how do those ‘things’ affect your image of yourself?
She was a pioneer in many ways. Susan Butcher was a 4-time winner of the grueling Iditarod and is credited with the clever, sassy saying…’Alaska, where men are men and women win the Iditarod.’ Fiercely competitive and determined, Butcher re-shaped the dog racing world with her record four wins. She was also devoted to her dogs, crediting them with her frequent wins. 
Butcher took a hiatus from racing in the mid 80’s but always remained involved. She married a fellow musher and had 2 children. Shortly after, she was diagnosed with leukemia. Laughing, with a shaved head (something that she had always wanted to do), she shared a comment from a friend who said that ‘leukemia had never met Susan Butcher…’. But it had. Susan Butcher died yesterday at age 51 from complications following a bone marrow transplant.
Instead of focusing all of the bride’s energy on her one day to shine–the wedding day–, why not coach her to re-focus her life on creating special everyday? This question came to me after reading (and listening) to several stories recently about wedding days and bridezillas. Society places all too much importance on the Wedding Day. 
People marry in churches that they will never actually attend; guests spend hundreds of dollars on shower & wedding gifts; the happy couple books a destination wedding at a location that looks picturesque but has no real meaning in their history together, etc. etc.
So instead of setting up the wedding day as the day of all days after which every subsequent day is a continual disappointment and heaven help your self-esteem if any part of your wedding day doesn’t make par, why not focus on putting a little bit of special into your everyday? This may mean booking a regular pedicure or spa day with girlfriends–important all the time not just pre-wedding–or maybe planning a dream getaway trip once a year. When we put all of our eggs in our self-esteem basket (as we do for a wedding), we are setting ourselves up for big let down when that basket is taken away because a) our partner called off the engagement b) the day has finally come and gone c) our funds simply do not allow us to have that perfect event. When we focus on incorporating some special into everyday, our days become more satisfying and joyful to us.
The world has enough to worry about. Focus on yourself and not what everyone thinks you should be doing by taking the pressure off you, whether it is wedding-related or not, by acting on behalf of what you authentically want not what everyone else is telling you that you should do.
An article in yesterday’s Times, part of the ongoing series on the new gender divide (’what has happened to men and women several decades after the women’s movement began’) takes an interesting look at ‘missing men’. ‘Missing men’ are men who have dropped out of regular work. They turn down work that they feel is beneath them, work that they are overqualified for or even jobs that foreshadow past undesirable conditions (manditory overtime, working on holidays, etc.). These missing men are not reported in any unemployment statistics because they have consciously stopped looking for work and therefore are not considered ‘offically unemployed’.
One noteworthy mention is the observation that ‘many women without jobs are raising children at home, while men who are out of a job tend to be doing neither family work nor paid work.’ This mention is certainly part of a more disturbing picture of the role of men in family. It’s considered socially acceptable for men to follow any role (active father, non-active father or breadwinner, leech) that they feel inclined to. These missing men are living off of their wife’s salary, depleting their savings or 401(k) or taking out 2nd mortgages on their homes to supplement the dearth in their previous two-income households. Their wives seem to be resigned to working even harder now that their husband is no longer working. Where the wife is working, likely cleaning and raising the kids, the husband is writing Louis L’Amour rip-offs and sleeping 9+ hours a day. What insanity! Yet, the fault lies with the wives for not being more forceful with their slothful husband.
When we cannot voice our wants and needs, self-esteem is depleted. Simply looking for jobs in the paper and hoping your husband will consider applying to one of them is not effectively asking for what you want. Hopefully the NYT article will be a wake-up call for many women out there. Hoping for things to change is no certain way to manifest the success and joy that you want.