Yesterday was the 3rd day of the workshop that I am attending through The Cape Cod Institute in North Eastham, MA. I am getting 90% of what Dr. Mona Lisa is talking about but what is not clear is how some of the participants are able to ‘read’ information about someone with having as little information as name and age. I sit there flabbergasted (better for my self-esteem than to say ‘dumbfounded’ which sounds completely derogatory). Who are these people? How can they get information like hair color, skin type, body issues and quality of relationship with partner while I rationally deduce information using from frontal lobe instead of whatever that thing is that makes me unique which I would use to access my intuition.
The naked fact that I am flummoxed by this activity and cannot intuit anything about the faceless name is totally frustrating. And it’s wonderful because I am so completely outside my comfort zone. Getting outside our comfort zone builds self-esteem because it forces us to linger in an area where we don’t feel invincible or rationally savvy. By lingering in those awkward areas, we grow stronger and more capable of dealing with future unfamiliar challenges. So, it’s good for me. Who knows what will happen today with the mysterious name? Maybe, suddenly, I will be able to access my intuition and glean all kinds of information from the name. I’ll let you know.
Here I am at The Chocolate Sparrow cafe in Orleans, MA. Surrounded initially by two loud, obnoxious white, frat-boy types (my favorite), I am finally left alone to contemplate my morning of learning about the power of intuition. I am attending The Cape Cod Institute’s ‘The Anatomy of Personality, Intuition and Illness’ taught by Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz. The program runs for a week-Monday-Friday.
One of the ways that we build self-esteem is to broaden ourselves. I encourage clients to step outside their comfort zone and into new classes, choices, towns and decisions. When we do this, we build personal power which increases our self-esteem. As an almost contstant facilitator of my own programs, I enjoy being a participant. It allows me to step back and see content from a participant’s point of view, rather than that of creator. This shift builds self-esteem for me because I am broadening myself beyond the usual confines of my daily routine. It helps that I am in a lovely location with warm weather even if we are sitting in a high school music practice room in rock-hard, desk-less chairs. What was I saying about ‘the participant’s view…’?
According to Business 2.0, Winfrey is a huge market force. Perhaps that should be her title instead of ‘Entertainment Mogul’ as Business 2.0 designates. 
She has the power to influence millions of shoppers who reply on her good judgment and high standards when looking for a wide range of products–from books to gifts to gal-on-the-go accessories, for themselves or others. Simon & Schuster knows this and the huge dividends that can be reaped by something with the ‘Oprah’ name associated with it. They have forked over the largest non-fiction book deal ever for Oprah’s fitness book written with trainer Bob Greene), somewhere in the neighborhood of 12+ million, ranking her above Bill Clinton and Allan Greenspan.
Most everything this woman touches turns to gold. Oprah is a modern day Midas with a trademark touch that sprinkles authenticity, generosity and hope wherever she goes. It’s wonderful to see a woman as such a powerhouse leader in this country, even if her business is classified as the ‘entertainment.’ What other woman is such a powerful force in this country and able to connect with the everyday Jane? Oprah lives her Authentic Self everyday by the choices that she makes and models her values, passions and talents with all of us.
As Bush’s approval ratings wax and wane into the mid-high 20’s, the approval rating for the Dixie Chicks 
latest album Taking the Long Way (as determined by 2 weeks at the top of the Billboard chart) has soared and doesn’t show signs of slowing. After lead singer Natalie Maines disparaging remarks about Bush in 2003 (’Just so you know, we are ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas’), slews of traditional country (read: red state) fans dropped them like a hot potato. With the obvious success of their newest endeavor, the Chicks are gaining new accolades from a non-traditional fan base, more of a pop audience who aren’t as close-minded about the Chicks voicing their political opinions. And the Chicks couldn’t be more pleased about it. As Martie Maguire told Time magazine the band would rather attract fans, ‘who will grow with us as we grow and are fans for life, than the people who have us in their five-disc changer with Reba McEntire and Toby Keith. We don’t want those kind of fans.’
There is another name for ‘those kind of fans’. The other name is ’support team’. An authentic support team is one that does grow with you as you grow and who supports you for who you are not the idea that they have of who you should be.. As the Dixie Chicks have found out, not everyone wiill stick around when you say that you can like me for who I am or you can choose to get out. This is fine for you and it will be fine for the Dixie Chicks too. I’m impressed that a band in America today (and of course they are all female) have the guts to make such a declaratory statement as Martie Maguire did. If she can do it, so can we.
A recent survey by the National Association of Realtors finds that, in 2005, single women became homeowners at more than twice the rate of single men and make up 21% of all homebuyers. Among reasons for the surge is that women are marrying later in life (if at all), they are making more money than ever before and are more comfortable in making home repairs. The latter reason can be credited to increased number of women-specific home improvement shows, resources and tools.
Another encouraging statistic is that 85% of women have been or will be solely responsible for a house in their lifetime. Venturing into homeownership, especially on her own, can certainly be intimidating but it can also be a significant contributor to a high self-esteem. Everything in life is a choice and certainly the choices that you make in connection with your home purchase can affect your confidence.
Two tips to keep confident about your homebuying experience:
a) Choose a female attorney. As a woman, you will almost certainly feel more inclined to question what you don’t understand if your attorney is female. You also might find it easier to state your wants and needs with a woman. And, as women it’s important that we support other women.
b) Lean on your support team, especially other women you know who have bought a home before. As women, they tend to speak more from the heart, using language that you can understand as opposed to male friends who tend to see the house purchase as transactional and don’t always understand the emotion involved in the purchase.
Now get out there and look at homes in this buyer’s market!
A new study of more than 3400 women found almost half those surveyed (44%) had experienced intimate partner violence an article in the June issue of The American Journal of Preventative Medicine reveals. This number shows a significant increase compared with Dept of Justice statistics for 2001 which show that 20% of violent crime against women was caused by intimate partner violence. Compared with women who had no such history of violence in their relationship, women affected by domestic violence were 4 times more likely to report severe depresssion and 3 times more likely to report poor health.
We know that continual battering can lead to chronic health issues as well as serious self-esteem problems such as doubting our own capabilities or worthiness; wondering if there is something wrong with us; confusing love with hurt; an inability to say ‘no’ or act on behalf of our own wants and needs, etc.
Hopefully this new study (picked up by an astounding number of media from Forbes to daily newspapers) will begin to make an impression of the seriousness of domestic violence in society today because at some point as statistics tells us, your own life is likely to be affected by domestic violence whether you are being battered or your sister, daughter or friend is.